Strength for the Day

I have found out that I will be admitted to the hospital to begin chemotherapy on June 10th. I will have hard chemo for approx 3-4 days. It is of short duration because of the high dose. The high dose is a concern because of the amyloidosis in my heart. This is a constant concern for the physicians. Statistics show that amyloidosis increases the chance of fatality. It makes me more grateful for the power of the priesthood and the knowledge of the plan of salvation. After wiping my bone marrow completely out or "killing me" they will implant my harvested cells and then watch me for the next 10-14 days to see if the implantation works. Those are the scary 10-14 days when I am most vulnerable to any type of infection. After that as my cells have taken hold the chance of fatality lessens. They have said that the day I have implantation of my cells becomes my second birthday. I want a big party now and every year after on both my birthdays!! Of course this year very few people will be able to celebrate with me but later....well..no restrictions then.

I continue to have a few complications. ( I think it's just to keep the Doctors on their toes) I awoke in the morning to look in the mirror and see this chipmunk facing looking back at me, and I had fat feet and legs. I had retained a little fluid in my legs and feet before but it always went away overnight. To have it in my face,hands, legs and huge face was concerning to my physicians..so they generously gave me a water pill. This is to the person who already got up 2-3 times a night.. I will let you figure out the rest. I just want to mention that is why I don't get up for the day until 9 or 9:30.

I continue to feel like a I have flu with achy thighs and ribs with a low grade fever, but all of these symptoms are minor compared to the stupid back pain which continues. My sweet Uncle and Aunt went and bought a recliner for me to sleep in that rocks; in the day and once in awhile I actually let me Uncle sit in it. The recliner is a place where I can sleep so well until I have a bathroom visit to make. I am so appreciative of my Uncle and Aunt for buying it. They will have a nice recliner for themselves when I am better.

Dave came down and Lindsay and Stan flew in this weekend and we have been able to spend time with them, as well as Eric, Lisa and little Ellie. My love contain has been filled. ( babies have a way of doing that)as well as my wonderful children and husband. Even Becky drove down to be with us. It was a great day on Saturday. Stan and Lindsay took me on a ride on Friday to Sugar House park and all around Sugar House. I was hoping to make them a bit homesick for Utah and hoped they would start looking for a house. I think it worked on Lindsay but not on Stan.

I continue to have tender mercies almost daily. Today is Sunday and Dave is still here and Lindsay and Stan were coming to fix lunch for us. I had kind of a miserable night and so I was concerned about what the day was to bring. I got up and could hardly move without pain. This was not how I planned on spending my day with my family. Yesterday I was almost "normal" in my activities. Then today to not be able to move without the moan that just slips out of my mouth when I have pain....well I thought to myself. Linda..stand up straight..put that smile on your face. I was on my way to freshen up and I found myself humming the hymn "Oh How Was the Morning" when I realized I had come to the part " but undaunted still she trusted in her Heavenly Father's care." Did you notice the bold words? Those are the words which I sang which I hadn't even realized until after a second of singing them. When I realized what I had sang I had the most calm, sweet feeling pass over me and I realized Heavenly Father was reminding me, that I did trust in His care. I have had a pretty good day. Not without discomfort, but happy and able to enjoy my family. How very grateful I am for that care of Him that heals all if we are willing to turn to Him. I guess that is the thing I would like to close with tonight. All of us need to turn to Jesus and realize that He waits for us to help us, all we have to turn is turn to Him in faith and then be willing to accept His will.

Thank you to all of you for your wonderful support. You are truly Christ's disciples. I love and appreciate you.