Reflection

 Perhaps it was me retelling my story to the reporter for the newspaper, or perhaps it was the sweet person who responded to the article and left a comment on my blog about losing her husband to Amyloidosis 10 years ago. I actually knew this person in high school. What ever it was, my heart and mind has been in deep reflection the past few days.

Each time I hear of someone, fairly close to me...either I know or knew them, or in Cache Valley or who I have corresponded with online...when I hear of someone passing from Amyloidosis, I wonder  why I was spared.  Why was I granted my miracle?  What else is there for me to accomplish?  What am I to do?  I am humbled to tears as I think  back over the year and know it very well could have ended differently.  I could have been "one of them", instead I am alive, and alot of the time feeling pretty well.

I have had such sweet responses to the article in the newspaper.  I really wanted lots more about the disease and about the Support Group I am trying to start, but  I hope at least the term Amyloidosis is getting out there.

I told the Lord as I was healing that I would be His disciple. That I would try my best to live as He would want me to and to serve others to the end of my days.  I pray diligently that I can also be with my daughters when they finally are able to have children. That is the deepest desire of my heart. My whole life I have prayed for that; probably because I lost my mom before I even got married.   I also pray that I will be guided in how I can help others and I KNOW I am suppose to do whatever I can for people regarding Amyloidosis.  Patients, family members all need to know there is hope.  I find happiness in corresponding with friends who participate with the online support group.  There are now over 1200 people who belong to that online group.  Some are survivors out many years. Some are even newer than I. Some have had heart or kidney or liver transplants. It's when I read their stories I truly realize again how very blessed I am.  Alot of them are on dialysis. I had a couple of beside sessions and then my kidneys began to work again. Presently they are working at about 40%. but they are working! Again blessed. I remember when I  asked that everyone pray specifically for my kidneys when they shut down.  I KNOW praying for specifics, gives us answers in specifics.  I know the Lord hears and answers our prayers.  It isn't always as we wish the answer was to be, or when we wanted it but He always hears and answers them.  Sometimes we may not be listening.

I am going to dedicate my efforts to do any good towards Amyloidosis to the dear ones who weren't diagnosed early enough, or weren't strong enough to make it through treatment. 

I rededicate my life to the Lord, to serving as He would serve.

Memorial Day is especially special for me this year.  I will be honoring those who were so important to me and have passed on, some of whom visited me while I was in the hospital and gave me strength.  I honor all who paved the way, paid the price for my freedom. God bless them that they may know of my love and appreciation.

I wish everyone would realize that this holiday is a date to remember and pay tribute, share memories or make memories with family. That it isn't just a play day. So much sacrifice has been offered for us.