Walking a Fine Line

I have heard this phrase for a long time but the past few days my life has been walking a fine line. It has been a very interesting experience.

I completed 2 days of high dose chemo. They said the kind of chemo used that if I didn't have a bone marrow transplant, I would die. Pretty toxic stuff. I sure hope it kills off the amyloidosis.

The next 2 days I received a total of 4 units of blood. So the two days they had to give me plenty of fluids along with my chemo and blood products. They were very concerned how my kidneys and heart were going to handle all of this additional fluid. This is where the fine line comes in....
my kidneys need a certain amount of blood to protect them and keep them from failing, so they give blood with extra fluid, well; my heart didn't like having all the additional fluid that had to be given, So I have had renal specialialists and cardiologists watching my lab values, listening to my lungs and heart many times during the day and they adjust the medicines mulitples times during the day. Yesterday I looked like a beached whale because I was retaining so much fluid. I started to have early symptoms of pulmonary edema. The cardiologist got really aggressive and gave me diuretics to help get rid of the water....and yup,, the bathroom and I spent alot of time together. Then the lab tests showed my kidney funtions were alot worse and they said no more Lasix. Walking a fine line....it takes alot of cooperation and communication to succeed. They have been wonderful!

I wish you all could be here and see the little miracles that are happening on East 8th BMT thanks to many of you. The gift baskets continue to bring smiles and happiness to patients and staff. I am also having each of my caregivers sign a book and tell me a little about them. I have also had housekeepers sign and get a thank you gift. It is pretty amazing how a smile, and a thank you can change a person's countenance. I am working on spreading sunshine and peace to my friends. Everyone on this unit is terminal and we all have very serious treatments we are going through, but oh..... the sadness, the loneliness.. it makes my heart ache.. I have made some friends that we chat as we are doing our laps. We are limited to an area that we can walk and if we walk this area 10 times it equals 1 mile. It's in a big circle. I try to go the opposite way just to add spice.

I am continually being blessed. I feel the love and support of the prayers. I ask that you continue to pray for me. The next 2-3 weeks will be the toughest and will determine my future. I know Heavenly Father knows and loves each one of us. I love you too.