Reasons

I've been thinking alot about how wonderful hind sight is.  Sometimes we are traveling along through life and things happen and we wonder how we are ever going to get through this. Some people may even wonder why it's happening.  Maybe it's financial challenges, health problems, emotional issues, disappointments, death of a loved one.

During the time when the doctors were trying to diagnose me and I was having all of these tests run.  I was in the worst pain I have ever faced in my life. It was a constant pain.  I was so nauseated and could hardly keep anything down. With all I went through in the hospital during my chemo and stem cell transplant, I think the very hardest thing on me was the constant severe back pain that I had for about 8 months. I had to sleep in a recliner because I couldn't lay down. If I laid down I couldn't get up without horrible pain.  The pain made everything else seem not so bad; well,, except the nausea.  They could stick me with any needle, anywhere and do anything to me...except move me which caused the terrific pain.  Having the pain, was almost a blessing because I now know what it feels like to have long term terrific pain. It made everything else I went through easier.

As the doctor's did tests on me, there were some biopsies taken the first of Feb.  They came back negative. They were actually checking for Amyloidosis.  It was another month and a half before they biopsied my kidneys and found the Amyloidosis.  Later on it was determined that the earlier biopsies weren't tested with the Congo Red Stain which is the only way the Aymloid is detected.  Now some would say why?  Some would be very angry.  Today I had the opportunity to speak with the Pathologist who performed the work on the biopsies.  He is an amazing person. Brilliant and very kind.  He is kind of OCD even, so I didn't ever discredit his abilities. But I did wonder what had happened.  After speaking to him, I explained how I was very adamant about helping everyone know more about Amyloidosis and helping patients get diagnosed earlier so we don't lose so many people to the disease. He is part of a very large corporation and is going to speak with other pathologists within the corporation about securing a reliable way of making sure biopsies are handled properly in regards to Amyloidosis.  THERE is the reason why this needed to occur in my life.  By happening to me, I, with my nursing background, was able to speak with this physician and he is going to improve the handling of these biopsies and probably this alone will help so that less people are missed.

I know that things in are life happen for a reason.  It might be years, it might be months or we may never know why, but it doesn't change the fact that there is a reason.  It is up to us to choose to look at events in our life and try to understand, "what am I suppose to learn from this?" "How can I grow from this?"" What good could possibly come from this?"  By approaching challenges in this manner, it will help us not to choose badly and become discouraged or bitter or hateful.

Every day I can think of at least one good thing that has come to be because of me living through the experiences I had last year. When you add up all those good things, I am truly grateful that I had that horrible year.  I hope I don't have to repeat it any time soon, but I also hope that if I do, I can maintain the inner strength and faith that I have been blessed with.

My heart goes out, as well as my prayers to all who have trials of whatever nature, I pray the peace of our loving Father in Heaven will abide with each. We can have His peace. Reach out and ask Him for help. He is there.