Word for the week, Love

 The past week I have felt "normal". Well, if I even know what normal is.  I have been on Prednisone for about 3 weeks because of an asthma type flare. I had some nasty side affects. I have been tapering the dose now for about a week ago, I bought new B12 sublingual tablets and bought a higher dose than I had been on. I have had so much energy and NO back or bone pain. All I can say is WOW!!
I have cleaned the freezers, cleaned my closet, cleaned and organized my drawers and not be exhausted.

For almost 3 years I have felt pretty crumby.  Sometimes, outright terrible. It has been 26 months since my stem cell transplant. Every month  or more often, I have been ill.  Pain has been a constant in my life until this week. I think everyday how very blessed I am that I don't hurt. I also thought today how very blessed I am that I can get into a car and drive where I want to. There was a time not so very long ago, I was totally dependent on others.  What a humbling experience. I think of others with chronic disease, aging, or whatever the circumstances are that make them dependent. It is a horrible feeling. Do others even think of how blessed they are as they "have to go to work", or "have to clean the house" or "have to drive their children somewhere" and then are able to do it?

My mind has been so busy thinking of all the wonderful blessings in my life but at the top is life itself and now, feeling good. I have thought of the different health challenges I have faced and still think it's pretty ironic that I have experienced so many and I have been a nurse for so long.  It is like Heavenly Father prepared me over the years in my nursing for this period of my life look at the challenges my children face and as a mother my heart aches. Then I have to think of the many wonderful things I have learned along the way these past 3 years.  For every pain or challenge, I truly believe that I have been double blessed.  Sometimes blessings are very subtle and unless we daily evaluate our lives, we may miss those tender mercies. Mine have been for the most part very obvious.

I was able to spend time in Salt Lake last night with my brother and his wife and some other extended family members. Ken and RoLayne are on their way to the mission field. I was reminded of our childhood, our parents and all the love we had in our home. I then spent the night at Eric and Lisa's house with Ellie and Sophie.  Again, the word love came to mind.  My heart melts with those little girls.  As I was putting my things on the guest bed, Ellie was standing there wiggling and then she burst out with " I am just sooo happy," and then wrapped her 2 1/2 year old arms around me.  Then a couple of minutes later she said, "Grandma, I love you so much!" As a mother, I thought I understood love. Now as a Grandmother I am learning love only gets deeper.  I couldn't help but think how very much I love my children and those grand daughters, it must seem so immature compared to the love our Father in Heaven has for us. The kind of love we are to have for Him and everyone.

I thought last Sunday as I said hello to a young man who doesn't usually come to church, how much I appreciate people speaking to my son who doesn't often attend church.  I thought to myself, the bishopric doesn't even come say hello. Then I thought again, "It isn't the Bishopric's responsibility, It is ours!!" If we would just love everyone around us as we love our own family and would hope that people around them, love them; life would be so good.  This thought has stayed with me all week. What can I do? Who needs a hello? I am a hugger, so I hug everyone.  I finally decided that all of us need to be acknowledged, said hello to. Be a friend to everyone. Smile. Look around specifically and keep a pray in our heart that we may be prompted to know who needs that extra love. I love the phrase, "It takes a village to raise a child":.

As Ellie knelt by her bed, her Dad asked her if she wanted to show Grandma how she can pray all by herself. She opened the prayer and next out of her mouth was, "Thankful Grandma Sue is here," then she blessed  me, Grandma and Grandpa B and each of her family members. What a sweet straight from the heart of a 2 1/2 year old child. I could imagine the heart of our Lord melting too as mine did. He showed us multiple times how important little children are to Him and how much He loves them.

Grandpa Dave and I gave Ellie a big wheels to ride. Her  Dad put it together and I started to put the decals on it. I thought I should wait and let Ellie be a part of that. This morning I was sitting on the floor and looking at the instructions seeing where the decals went.  Ellie walked over and put her arm around my neck and looked at the paper too. I showed her that some decals could go "right there" on the big wheels but told her to put them anywhere she wanted. She put them on carefully and then picked up the instructions looking at it said,"Let's see where this one goes" and looked carefully at the instructions. Ellie won't be 3 until Jan 2014. She knows all her colors, shapes, numbers. She can spell her name. She is trying to figure out on her own what letter words begin with. She recognizes Jesus, Pres. Monson and the other first presidency. She calls temples Jesus' house. She knows alot of the characters of the Book of Mormon. She remembers everything.  She will remember and talk about things several months ago in detail.  Her little sister Sophie is 10 months old and trying to talk and keep up with Ellie.  When I hear about the work of the Gospel of Jesus Christ hastening and our responsibilities to do our part in family history, training youth, missionary work; I feel the strength of these special spirits coming into the world right now. Yes, my son and his wife are wonderful parents and teach very well, but these spirits are the "warriors" in my opinion.  The strongest, most stubborn at times, strong willed, bright, and valiant.


I think of the wonderful life I have. Yes I have a terrible disease that could reactivate and kill me, but I know that.  I try diligently to live my life with the proper perspective. Before my illness, I seemed to be like the rat on the wheel running and going nowhere sometimes and not always having my priorities or perspective right. I also realize how strong my love and testimony of the Savior has become. Would I ask for this disease? NO, but would I trade and go back and not have lived the experiences of the past 3 years? NO. When we try our hardest through trials and look for what we are to learn and try to grow, I know we are slowly becoming the individuals we have the capacity to be... Sons and daughters of an omnipotent, loving Father and Mother.