It was a fairly quiet, out of ordinary Mother's Day.
The skies were gray and there was a constant drizzle of rain. Areas in Cache Valley are threatened with flooding.
I woke up this morning with the pain in my rib mostly gone but my lower back was gripping me so bad I could hardly even get out of bed. I didn't make it to church to enjoy the Mother's Day program. Dave brought me home a yellow daisy type flower. I missed hearing the Primary children sing, They are usually the best part of the program.
We went to Grandma Janes for a delicious dinner of pork roast, mashed potatoes, veggies and strawberry shortcake. Becky and Ben and Jeff and his roommate Nick joined us.
It was a rather thoughtful day for me as I thought about my mother gone now for almost 40 years. I sure hope that she is wanting me to stay with my family here longer and praying for such. I thought about the fact that was exactly 10 years older than my mother was when she passed away.
This week brings reality to me as i start my pre transplant workup which will include another bone marrow biopsy. I am not really very excited about that but figure it will probably be one of the easier things I am about to face so I best toughen up and be ready.
Jane and I will head to Salt Lake on Wed night to stay over. We are going to go early enough to spend a little time with Lisa, Eric and Ellie. I just want to snuggle that little one as much as I can. She is growing so fast.
I have felt quite melancholy today, not exactly sure why except I wonder about what my parents think of this whole adventure I am going through. I can hear Dad say, "Sue, you can do it!" I have read over everything. I have restated everything that is going to happen but I still think it hasn't made it into my mind. I am afraid how I will act when it actually sinks in; and how that will affect Dave and my children.
I recorded in my journal the wonderful outpouring of love and support that I have received. It is hard to even describe. Where much is given, much is expected. I must be good.
It was nice to spend time with Jane. She has done so much for me. I spoke with Laprele who also has felt like a mom. I thought about Aunt Ruth another mother figure. So many wonderful influences in my life.
I think your medical training isn't doing you any favors right now- you probably understand too much. I'm sure your parents are with you, as your grandparents.
ReplyDeleteKnow that there is a lot of love- even from those of us that are so far in distance and time. The reason for this path will be clear in God's time- and I know you can do it. You only have to do it a little bit at a time, though, so don't spend too much time on the big picture. One small bit at a time.